An odd sort of Poetry · I Just Might Be OKAY Without YOU · I still miss you · words for the boy who broke my heart

Regret doesn’t burn. You do.

4.23.18

L.W.

I said your name out loud today-

it almost got stuck in my throat

and

writing your name here

does make this pen

burn in my hand

but I live for the pain

and you give me more and more

life

each and every day.

everything still burns-

the way you left me

but also the way you loved me

all the memories,

even the good ones,

still burn in my mind.

so, you,

I do not regret,

as much as I sometimes

wish that I could.

 

a bit better · An odd sort of Poetry · I Just Might Be OKAY Without YOU · words for the boy who broke my heart

something blue

4.23.18

your hello started something in me

something I never got to finish

I had hoped

we would finish it together

but

hope is always ill-advised

and

it is hard to finish a thing

you could never define

 

scraps and scribbles

memories and notes

aren’t enough

 

all that’s left to work with

is blue:

blue eyes and heavy tears

blue journals and boutonnieres

blue pills and that

blue lace

everything blue was always for you.

everything blue still is.

 

but I think you started something in me

with your goodbye

I think I’ve started changing colors

because I no longer want to be blue.

An odd sort of Poetry · I Just Might Be OKAY Without YOU · I still miss you · words for the boy who broke my heart

‘You’ vs you

4.23.18

my pen still writes about you

but it can never mention you by name.

that would hurt too much

too real.

this way I can write about you

without having to write about You

 

I can empty my thoughts onto this heavy paper

without my pen running dry

because You are not here

to suck the ink out of it.

 

You cannot take these words

these letters to You

they are not for You anymore

they are for me.

I’m letting myself have these.

You’ve taken enough.

 

haven’t You?

An odd sort of Poetry · words for the boy who broke my heart

Artwork

I had painted a perfect life for us:

The sky was orange.

The grass was blue.

You loved me,

And I loved you.

The sea was gold.

The mountains red.

I closed my eyes each night

And woke with you in my bed.

Our little house was yellow.

The car was green.

My hand in yours,

We took the scene.

 

I showed you the canvas when I thought it was time.

You let it fall to the floor,

And called it a crime:

You said the sky was grey,

And the grass was brown.

We were never meant to be in the same town.

The sea was green,

And the mountains were white.

Now I think that maybe you were right.

 

 

An odd sort of Poetry · words for the boy who broke my heart

The Way They Sounded

If you could just explain,

Maybe I could move on,

But I’m afraid to ask;

I’m afraid you won’t respond.

I want to believe that it hurt you too,

Even just a little bit,

Because I’m still reeling.

I don’t understand,

But I know I hate this feeling.

You were the one thing,

The one time I let my guard down,

“My only exception.”

“My number one.”

“The best thing in my life.”

Maybe you just liked the way the words sounded,

So much that you didn’t care what they meant,

Or that they were never true.

I never meant anything to you.

Short Notes · words for the boy who broke my heart

Character

He’s the man in a novel that every girl falls in love with. I know his story, every detail, every day, but I don’t know him. I’ll never touch his skin or breathe his air. I hear his voice and I see him in my dreams, but he’s not here. Every night I close the book, and He disappears. The character I love isn’t real, but still, I can’t help the way I feel.

An odd sort of Poetry · words for the boy who broke my heart

How Could I?

I couldn’t possibly love you;

How could I when I can’t even love myself?

I couldn’t possibly please you;

How could I when I can’t even please myself?

You deserve so much more,

So much better.

You don’t deserve me;

Nobody does.

 

I couldn’t possibly help you;

How could I when I can’t even help myself?

I couldn’t possibly be the one for you;

How could I when I’m not even the one for me?

You deserve the perfect girl.

You don’t deserve me

Because I’m not her.

I’ll never be her.

I’ll only ever be me,

And me isn’t something you should have to see.

 

 

An odd sort of Poetry · words for the boy who broke my heart

2000 Miles

Two thousand miles away.

We’ve never been together,

But I dream of touching your skin every day.

Let’s make this feeling last forever.

Tell me that we’ll find a way.

 

Seeing your name, I can’t help but smile.

And hearing your voice makes me weak.

Please come hold me for awhile.

Because we’ve found a love that’s quite unique.

I don’t know how you did it, but you make me feel like a child.

 

Back and forth my heart does sway.

I would wait for you.

I would wait for “maybe one day.”

Anywhere with you would be the perfect view.

Tell me what I need to say.