An odd sort of Poetry · I Just Might Be OKAY Without YOU · I still miss you · words for the boy who broke my heart

Regret doesn’t burn. You do.

4.23.18

L.W.

I said your name out loud today-

it almost got stuck in my throat

and

writing your name here

does make this pen

burn in my hand

but I live for the pain

and you give me more and more

life

each and every day.

everything still burns-

the way you left me

but also the way you loved me

all the memories,

even the good ones,

still burn in my mind.

so, you,

I do not regret,

as much as I sometimes

wish that I could.

 

a bit better · An odd sort of Poetry · I Just Might Be OKAY Without YOU · words for the boy who broke my heart

something blue

4.23.18

your hello started something in me

something I never got to finish

I had hoped

we would finish it together

but

hope is always ill-advised

and

it is hard to finish a thing

you could never define

 

scraps and scribbles

memories and notes

aren’t enough

 

all that’s left to work with

is blue:

blue eyes and heavy tears

blue journals and boutonnieres

blue pills and that

blue lace

everything blue was always for you.

everything blue still is.

 

but I think you started something in me

with your goodbye

I think I’ve started changing colors

because I no longer want to be blue.

An odd sort of Poetry · I Just Might Be OKAY Without YOU · I still miss you · words for the boy who broke my heart

‘You’ vs you

4.23.18

my pen still writes about you

but it can never mention you by name.

that would hurt too much

too real.

this way I can write about you

without having to write about You

 

I can empty my thoughts onto this heavy paper

without my pen running dry

because You are not here

to suck the ink out of it.

 

You cannot take these words

these letters to You

they are not for You anymore

they are for me.

I’m letting myself have these.

You’ve taken enough.

 

haven’t You?

a bit better · An odd sort of Poetry

something worth loving

4.23.18

I desperately want to be the things that I love…

I want to become something worth loving.

 

I want to be the smell in the air after the rain.

I want to be tired arms and chalked up palms.

I want to be a smile to a bright eyed stranger

and the songs stuck in my head.

I want to be the photographs worth taking

and the art that forces me to close my eyes.

I want to be the trains that pass by

and all the places they’ll ever go and have ever gone.

I want to be the golden Spanish seaside

and all the languages I cannot understand.

I want to be something;

Someone outside of just me.